From the Desk of…
Hey, I don’t want to cover all the same commencement beats that you’ve likely already read this week, but… boy howdy, wasn’t that some speech? I mean, the 4 Non Blondes cover into Bitcoin is really a magical transition. I’ve been known to do a little oratory during fits of pique, and I don’t think I’ve ever done anything like this. I guess I don’t normally script my stuff on ayahuasca though. If you can bear it, here’s the full speech. All that serving as a backdrop to the “apparent suicide” of Larissa Brady, whose daughter was graduating with her bachelor’s. Just a tragic day overall on what was supposed to be a very triumphant moment for Ohio State’s senior class.
Oh well.
Donald Trump’s still on trial. The judge says he’ll throw Trump in jail if Trump doesn’t stop posting about witnesses. I’ll believe it when I see it, mostly because I have a vested stake in finding out if I can be imprisoned for bad posts.
Oh, can we talk about the beef? Can we talk about the beef in here? Listen, it’s none of my business, but this Kendrick/Drake feud… zoo-wee mama! First off, the Wikipedia page formatting it like a war is hilarious. I was fine to let it simmer in the background, but the release of “Not Like Us” shifted that. When someone is calling one of the decade’s biggest artists a pedophile over beats that will get the club jumping, I’m gonna tune in. I don’t care if this exposes my bias in the game, but I’ve never liked Drake. I’ve thought the softboy act is overplayed, and he has so many weird clips and interactions and lines about adolescent girls. Here’s a recap on some of the bigger names he’s interacted with, starting in with his being a “big fan of high school girl’s basketball.” And who knows! Maybe it’s all just overblown, and all these weird things are just because he’s a normally broken child star whose development was arrested the way that so many other folks are. That said, his response to being called a pedophile was effectively “pfft, I knew you would say that,” which to me raises the question of why did you know he would say that? Further, if you know what argument your opponent is going to make, you should probably prepare a better counter than five minutes of “nuh-uh.”
Anyway. What was I talking about? Oh, right. They keep finding thousands of dollars in Marysville bathrooms. Jesus, I see what you’ve done for other people, and I want that for me. Ope, tornado break. Okay, where was I? Whatever, bring in the dancing lobsters.
The Brain Dump
may the third be with you
[Frank Sinatra voice] scooby dooby doo, where are you
OSU should let me give the next spring commencement speech
bad time to announce it but i am ohio's new militia commander
my fridge started running and I thought it was the tornado about to suck me off
At the Movies
Hey, getting back in the swing of it.
Chinatown (1974), dir. Roman Polanski ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ ❤️
I remember the first time I watched this as part of my screenwriting class, and it was like when Mona Simpson saw Joe Namath's sideburns and had her worldview turned upside down. Just an absolute banger with an unforgettable ending, not to mention the source of one of my favorite MST3K riffs when someone's getting smacked around. Arguably the movie that made me think "I should watch more noirs" after having written the genre mostly off prior to then.
Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band (1978), dir. Michael Schultz ⭐ ❤️
This movie... it's just such dogwater. Almost everyone involved in the production tried to run away from it during production. Most of the covers are wretched, notable exceptions being Earth, Wind & Fire as well as Billy Preston. Nearly every creative choice was incorrect. It's just... it's just so bad. I own it on DVD and have probably seen it more times than I would ever care to admit.
Still like it better than Across the Universe though.
Godzilla: Final Wars (2004), dir. Edward Yang ⭐⭐⭐⭐ ❤️
Hard to really describe my feelings about this one. I don't even really know how my grandma found the DVD, but I had this on repeat for months. It's not good, but it's very of its time and place. Weird racial caricatures, jokes that are so out of place, mutant soldiers born to fight kaiju in robots, alien government conspiracies... but you also get Godzilla fighting Zilla! Anguirus! King Caesar! The gang's quite literally all here. Good designs, mindless action, baffling everything else. Especially the nu-metal stuff.
One Picture
trying to cut carbs
In closing,
An unsourced line often credited to Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, one of my favorite authors: “If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up people together to collect wood and don’t assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea.” Of course, I’ll reproduce here an English translation of the lines from Citadelle believed to have inspired that.
One will weave the canvas; another will fell a tree by the light of his ax. Yet another will forge nails, and there will be others who observe the stars to learn how to navigate. And yet all will be as one. Building a boat isn’t about weaving canvas, forging nails, or reading the sky. It’s about giving a shared taste for the sea, by the light of which you will see nothing contradictory but rather a community of love.
Sometimes though, in spite of our efforts, people long to return to the shores. It’s important to let them go. Listen to what the people want, and give it to them when you can. On the other side, you have to be communicative. Communication is key, and if you never say anything, you might end up sailing around the world in a boat you don’t want to be on.
Until next time, speak up about something.