From the Desk of…
Let me open with an acknowledgement of respect. I try not to hand it to folks too often, but Governor Tony Evers (D-WI) playing hardball and using veto powers on the state budget to increase funding for public education for 400 years instead of just one? That’s the stuff. That’s the sort of creative legislation you’d hope to see in a Meow administration. I like it. Anyway, in the real world (Ohio), we’re about to spend $10M on studying future transportation needs. An optimist would read this release and think “trains.” A pessimist would read this release and think “highways.” But me? I read this release and think “nothing.” Staying on transit, activists in San Francisco are “coning” autonomous taxis to block their sensors and shut them down. We probably ought not turn the streets over to robots, but I also don’t have ringing endorsements of human drivers. Probably ought to think of a different way to live. Won’t though.
So, let’s talk Smart Columbus. Its branding aside, it has managed to spend its $50M grant over the last seven years, and the city’s IQ hasn’t budged. Can anyone really say that we’re “the city of the future” now? We got a handful of charging stations, shuttles to and from nowhere that go in a little circle when running, and justification to tear out all the parking meters so the city can tech-gate poor people out of existing while harvesting user data to give away to the next Amazon project they want. Which, and oh by the way, despite all of the offered incentives and data that were we sent up to dear sweet Bezos for free, what was it they said held back Columbus from being picked for HQ2? Anyone remember what’s holding us back? “There's just one area where the city pales in comparison. New York City and Washington, D.C. both have extensive public transportation systems and national airports, which Amazon highlighted in their announcement Tuesday.” That was 2018, but don’t worry! “‘What we looked at as a positive, actually, is we don’t have a legacy system that we’re burdened by,’ [Director of Development Steve] Shoeny says. ‘So we would have the ability to build something new.’ Among those new systems were ‘street solutions’ and autonomous vehicles, which are also a focus of Columbus' Smart City initiative. Ginther says the city is working on improving transportation options.” And now, five years on, Smart Columbus has decided there are no new worlds to conquer in transit, so they’re just quietly pivoting to being some sort of broadband internet equity group after seven years? I’m not going to say I have a better track record on my personal finances, but I would expect a little more out of $50M than what we got. Are they gonna need $100M to get a few Wi-Fi hotspots at unsheltered bus stops that harvest data from any device that connects to them? “Oh, and by the way, now that we have Wi-Fi at some bus stops, you have to use this third-party app on your phone to look at the schedules and to pay fares. It’ll be, uh, faster, and more accurate. Yes, that’ll do.” And I can hear people already saying to me, “Oh, but those were pilot programs, so now we know not to do them.” Okay. Does that mean there’s money or plans or political will to do the things that would work? Are we just Test Market, USA and expected to live in an innavigable hellscape of stroads? “Oh, sure, Meow, it’s easy to dog on something in retrospect. Hindsight is always 20/20.” I have been dogging on them and these problems for years. Who are you anyway, strawman in my Substack? Get outta here. “Right now, to move around Columbus, you need a car a lot of the time. So cars are not cheap. It’s a barrier for members of our community,” said “Chief Innovation Officer” Michael Stevens in 2019. Now that we’ve spent fifty million dollars… is that any different? Hell, the biggest concrete thing they could point at is building infrastructure for - get this - a different type of car. I just — I have to move on from this point or I’m going to get apoplectic about it. Just the most mealymouthed neoliberal non-profit boondoggle and waste of everyone’s time and money. Give me $50M and I’ll at least give you something to show for it.
Do not speak to me when Godzilla is talking, especially when there’s a new Toho film in the works.
The Brain Dump
thinking about what life would be like if i were made to experience forty years living in an ancient society to keep alive the memory of their civilization and its people long after its demise while only a few minutes passed in real life and also i learned to play the flute
i should get a bedazzler
they'll print anything on a Refectory menu if you're the mayor
STEPHEN A: Skip I want to ADDRESS this issue.
[BAYLESS nods]
You KNOW I used to say live and let live
BAYLESS: You know you did
STEPHEN A: BUT!
post-credits scene for Oppenheimer where they talk about Operation Paperclip and cameo von Braun
Too busy for a lot of bits this weekend, I guess. Was worried I wouldn’t even see three movies! Fixed that though.
At the Movies
Some exciting theater times recently!
Metropolis (1927), dir. Fritz Lang ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ ❤️
What a treasure to see this presented with live organ accompaniment by Clark Wilson in a beautiful theatre surrounded by friends and acquaintances on my birthday. And what a delight that they would sell me so much wine! I cried three times during the Prelude.
2001: A Space Odyssey (1968), dir. Stanley Kubrick ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ ❤️
yeah it wouldn't have gone down like that if i'd been on that spaceship
Live and Let Die (1973), dir. Guy Hamilton ⭐⭐⭐
idc if this is controversial but this movie is way less than the sum of its parts. no offense to John Barry but George Martin's score kicks ass. the song is good. we all love the song, don't we, folks? but man Roger Moore's Bond just makes me roll my eyes. in the bad way. and like. so much of this should've hit for me. but even Yaphet Kotto just seems kinda bored. the occult stuff is awkward at best. also probably should've like... what if they'd hired Melvin Van Peebles to make the blaxploitation Bond movie. or Gordon Parks. what if they'd really gone for it. oh well. cool boat jump tho
Maybe I’ll actually get around to seeing Past Lives this weekend? Don’t count on it though.
One Picture
I’d send a new one of these every week if I could.
In closing,
Presbyterian minister Fred Rogers once said that we can’t really love someone else without loving ourselves first. By acknowledging your own self-worth, you create the internal emotional environment necessary for authentic connections and meaningful relationships. Loving yourself empowers you to bridge the gulf from person to person and allows you to truly see and appreciate those around you. Once we love ourselves, we can form genuine bonds rooted in understanding, acceptance, and support. After all, if they’re deserving of your care and compassion, aren’t you? Until next time, take care of yourself.
Tony Evers is alllllright. Happy birthday man!