From the Desk of…
Well, I’m as surprised as anyone that I’ve managed to stick with this for so long. Who can forget such great posts over the year like… uh… well, that’s why I wrote them down, right? So I wouldn’t have to remember them! Just go read them, if you want. They’re still there, and mostly good! Occasionally good! Worth a read. Worth a glance. Worth skimming. Look at the funny bits and leave.
In news, we’ve got some movement on Statehouse maps, which is to say that the Supreme Court dismissed the challenges and the gerrymanders will stand for now. Expect to hear more from me about how to sign the petitions and support the Citizens Not Politicians amendment next year now that they’re past their typo era.
Something to keep an eye on! Lieutenant Governor Jon Husted (R-Jagoff) is being deposed and Governor Mike DeWine (R-Hollow Tree Factory) subpoenaed in relation to a civil lawsuit about the FirstEnergy House Bill 6 bribery stuff. You know, the scandal that took down Larry “Hooey Long” Householder? Could be neat!
Alright. We Need to Talk About Elliot. Ohio State Representative Elliot Forhan (D-South Euclid) has had a quite a moment in the limelight lately. Now, to set the stage, I want to make it clear that this didn’t emerge from nowhere and that this is just a new part of behavioral patterns which have gotten him reprimanded before. On November 16th, following what they’re euphemistically calling a “heated confrontation” in the press, Rep. Forhan was stripped of his committee assignments and staff after screaming and cursing at his colleague, Rep. Munira Abdullahi (D-Columbus). He’s yelled at folks before, sure, but this was the first time he yelled at someone he’s supposed to be working with. House Minority Leader Allison Russo (D-Upper Arlington) claimed in a letter than Forhan has “been counselled multiple times, yet refuse[s] to accept the responsibility and weight of [his] position, actions and discourse.” Harsh! In the following days, Ohio Attorney General David Yost (R-Dillweed) hired an outside law firm to investigate Forhan’s conduct, and Forhan’s badge access to state buildings was revoked. Up to $30,000 will the Ohio taxpayers be paying to investigate this guy! Now, Elliot’s a Yalie, and they always say that Yale men never back down (source: I made it up). Naturally, using his big brain and his degree from Yale Law, he fired back with a letter that’s almost coherent to Minority Leader Russo and another to House Speaker Stephens attempting to call out something resembling hypocrisy for taking away Forhan’s access while letting convicted domestic abuser Rep. Bob Young do as he pleased. I can almost see a point there, but then he started making weird videos apologizing to specific lawmakers, and Rep. Juanita Brent (D-Cleveland) has gone so far as to get a restraining order. But what do they say about Yale men? Naturally, Forhan responded to this by going to her house. At least, so she claims, and she claims to have video. Forhan, demonstrating the rigor of Yale Law, has replied with the classic legal strategy of nuh-uh. I think that catches us up to now. Aren’t state politics fun?
The Brain Dump
alright. i'm going to get myself a little treat. and then i gotta turn on love actually.
so... is there a mr. pac-man?
hmmm perhaps i will watch muppet christmas carol for the first time this year
ong (ohio national guard) frfr (for real for real)
the christmas challenge has already spread almost 250 hours of holiday cheer
it's not even december
Regrettably, based on the metrics, it doesn’t appear my Christmas Challenge trinket budget doesn’t seem like it’ll shrink much. Strangely, despite some very questionable film choices and the fact that it’s the largest it has ever been, I think we have more active participants than we did last year. That’s great! And… also unnerving.
At the Movies
Now that the embargo is lifted and I can start logging Christmas movies, it’s time to let you know what I really think.
Home Alone (1990), dir. Chris Columbus ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
wouldn't have gone down like that if i'd been there. i could easily rob a child
Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992), dir. Chris Columbus ⭐⭐
contrived. it's implausible that this would happen
The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992), dir. Brian Henson ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ ❤️
I only log this once a year because if I logged it every time I had it on then people would probably be calling in wellness checks and trying to have me committed
The Santa Clause (1994), dir. John Pasquin ⭐⭐
like staring into dishwater for two hours, but less productive and maybe half as entertaining
Jack Frost (1998), dir. Troy Miller ⭐⭐
i feel nothing. this film inspires little more than antipathy and occasional disgust
Love Actually (2003), dir. Richard Curtis ⭐⭐
i mean the interwoven narrative structure is at least interesting, even if some of the connecting branches are a bit far-fetched. there, i said a nice thing about it.
i dunno. maybe my heart is just two sizes too small for this one. or maybe it actually just stinks. like P.U. folks.
STRANGELY, in my American remake, repeated cases of sexual harassment in the workplace balanced with a dude going overseas to bang the locals got me "canceled" instead of "being a holiday classic." because of woke
also because the kid running through the airport ends differently in the US
The Polar Express (2004), dir. Robert Zemeckis ⭐⭐
[Josh Groban voice] booooooring, it's boooring... boring me to tears...
steven tyler jumpscare
Saltburn (2023), dir. Emerald Fennell ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ ❤️
John Waters does Downton
if that sounds up your alley... you gotta check it
That is but a fraction of the seasonal classics and new releases being reviewed by myself and others on Letterboxd. The Christmas Challenge path is a strange and difficult one.
One Picture
man
In closing,
Rather than spend more time reading my half-ideas, consider spending six minutes with Tom Waits giving one of my favorite all-time live performances, combining “Silent Night” with “Christmas Card From a Hooker in Minneapolis” on Austin City Limits back in December ‘78.
Until next time, reach out to someone you miss. Communication is a two-way street. At least you’ll know, and then you can stop worrying about it.
Well, maybe don’t, if you’re Elliot Forhan. Do not use me as an excuse to break a restraining order. Elliot Forhan, do not read this.