Senator's Selects 2024/01/24
You, my children, are the water that will wash away all that has come before...
From the Desk of…
No news is good news on the homefront, but here’s some items that have passed the desk this week.
Do you believe in second chances? Well, luck might just be in the cards for one scrappy young village police officer! David Cimperman Jr.—whose prior employment history only includes inappropriate handling of firearms, flipping his car in pursuit of a motorcyclist whose helmet visor wasn’t down, unauthorized use of the local radio network, perjury, improper handling of evidence, time-off violations, blowing off work, and maybe stealing surplus military equipment from the office—has finally found full time employment in another police department under the recommendation of his friend. Heartwarming!
Speaking of second (or third… or fourth) chances, Dennis Kucinich is running for office again! Yes, the Boy Mayor and former congressman is taking the fight to Max Miller in OH-7, filing as an independent despite his long history with the Democratic Party. Why make that choice? Well, I know Dennis, and he trusts the Ohio Democratic Party about as far as he can throw them. I don’t blame him on that front, but I also know the way his mind works when it comes to campaigns… well, I wish him all the luck! It’ll be a hard rocky road for an independent firebrand of a candidate. Some might even say an impossible one. Dennis wouldn’t though! No… Dennis wouldn’t. Hm.
Charles Entertainment Cheese? On my screen? It’s more likely than you think, now that the producers of Top Chef have licensed the rights to develop it into a game show. The iron is hot; maybe studios will be receptive to my Showbiz Pizza prestige drama pitch now.
SEX! Now that I have your attention, the Pope has finally said what we’ve all been thinking: sexual pleasure is ‘a gift from God.’ No word yet on what the Pope makes of other worldly pleasures, though cardinals close to Francis claim an early draft of the sermon contained “several very detailed paragraphs defending hentai as art.”
On a sincere note, farewell to Charles Osgood, veteran broadcaster and the voice I can still hear on Sunday mornings when I make breakfast. I remember setting alarms to catch his last show. Real one of one, as they say.
The Brain Dump
ah, the first dusting of snow, time to half-ass work and watch The Thing
bad time to announce it but i am also suspending my presidential campaign
they should invent a weather that is warmer
sipping on this Bartles & Jaymes premium peach flavored wine cooler
where are the damn frosted wheats. i don't want this mini bs. i want the big wheats and i want them heavily frosted.
In all seriousness, if you have a line on some full-size frosted shredded wheat cereal, the kind where you have to break them up with the spoon, not bite-size, not mini… actual, earnest, full-on, frosted shredded wheat cereal… please contact me.
At the Movies
Did I go to the theater? Yes. Was it to see a movie made in the past century? Barely.
Mona Lisa (1986), dir. Neil Jordan ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ ❤️
THAT'S MY MARIO RIGHT THERE, LET'S-A GO!
Brilliant movie, tremendous fits on Hoskins and Coltrane throughout. I laughed, I cried, I lost ten pounds. Could've just been a crime flick but has such tenderness and heart. One thing I always love in a movie is when there's just little touches of the absurd on the fringes, where the thrust of the movie is grounded and matches our expectations but it hints at a bigger, stranger world.
Deep Cover (1992), dir. Bill Duke ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ ❤️
some of the best copaganda i've watched in a while
Wishmaster (1997), dir. Robert Kurtzman ⭐⭐⭐⭐
man, I haven't watched this in so long
it's not good, but it's such a great amount of in-jokes, practical effects, and cheese
even just Reggie yelling at Buck Flower had me grinning like a fool
I should still see, like, a new movie soon.
One Picture
Better watch yourself.
In closing,
We’re one week out from the end of January. How are you keeping to your resolutions? Has it been a transformative month for you? The secret is, of course, that change comes from within, and you can change at any time. If your resolve has faltered, it’s okay. You can just dust yourself off and get back to it.
Until next time, take a moment to reflect on what is best in life.