Senator's Selects 2026/04/06
accidentally became important at work n its ruining my life
From the Desk of…
Hello, subscribers new and all. Been a minute, no? Let’s chat.
Without going into specifics, suffice to say that something I have been laboring towards for the better part of three years is coming to fruition. What has that meant for me? Well, it’s a lot of unreturned messages and late nights and hollering into the void. If you are waiting for me to return any messages about hanging out, meetings, or life advice, please know that I am also waiting for my ability to respond to them. I’m billing thirty hours for this past weekend, and based on how the day has gone… I don’t know that I get to stop working until next weekend at the earliest. I mean, I still have Christmas Challenge trinkets to deliver! Unprecedented times.
What it further means is that, for the first time in years, I will not be issuing a Sample Meowlot for the upcoming primary election. That’s not to say that I’m without thoughts! For starters, this election is so under-the-radar that the Franklin County Democratic Party has yet to actually put their sample ballot up. It’s funny because they do have a very blurry image of it, but if you click it or try to print it, it turns into their sample ballot for the general election back in November. Try it out yourself before they fix it. Like, is this really the best way they can display it on their website?
Further, I see no fewer than four (4) races where they straight up didn’t endorse. Hell of it is, I get it! The seats that are open, I’ve yet to be moved by any of the candidates. Naturally, the county party has endorsed nearly every incumbent. I do note the exception at a glance of Judge George Leach, where they have instead endorsed Kelley Gabrielle Boller. Judge Leach has become a bit of a lightning rod for some folks due to a perception of lenient sentencing for juvenile delinquents. It may be possible that they’re distancing themselves. Again, I’ve yet to be moved by any of the challengers, and if I’m not being moved, I struggle to imagine any of them winning out over the machine. It may be something else though! My ears have been stuffed full of work for a long while. All this could just be part of my fading into irrelevancy, which some would say is long overdue and others would say has already happened. Yet here I am in your hand like a bad penny. Ain’t life grand?
As to my rough thoughts, I am leaning Bryan Hambley for Secretary of State, and I expect Allison Russo to win it easily. Besides, while Bryan’s “just a farm boy” shtick provides a nice contrast to Allison’s “former House Minority Leader who holds a Doctor of Public Health in Health Policy”, we may need someone who is more of a political operator in that position to pull our state out of its terrible situation. And such small portions!
And man… for Attorney General… I’m not excited about John Kulewicz in any way, but I cannot in good conscience fail to remind people about the many many incidents that Elliot Forhan got into the last few years. I mean, we’re talking about a man who is currently suing everyone at the Statehouse from current Attorney General David Yost to former House Speaker Jason Stephens and staff to… former House Minority Leader Allison Russo and staff. What is the suit for? Defamation, mostly. Defamation in relation to all the abusive behaviors and stalking he was doing of his colleagues. Sorry, that he was alleged to have done. Let me get the quote for folks who aren’t clicking through.
Early this week, Forhan claimed he was asked to move a large flag of Israel that he put outside of his office to the inside of his office. He took this as an attack on his pro-Israel beliefs. He claims other lawmakers are allowed to have decor outside of their offices. It is possible he is being targeted, he said.
“I’m not one for conspiracy theories; that’s just not who I am, but I do take exception to telling me to take down my expression of support for Israel.”
Colleagues and the document accuse Forhan of only now caring about Israel due to his large population of Jewish constituents that he allegedly has ostracized for posting anti-Israel sentiment online.
On Wednesday, Forhan allegedly screamed about the war at state Rep. Munira Abdullahi, who is Muslim, alone in a committee room to the point that she was “visibly shaken,” and the House Sergeant At Arms was called and dispatched to stand outside of where Forhan was — because they believed he would become violent.
So, I can tell you that I will not be voting for Elliot Forhan, at least.
Beyond that… Ohio Democratic Party State Central Committee in the 25th District. Now that’s a race to watch. See now, the State Central Committee has two seats per district: man and woman as God made them in the state constitution. For the men, you have State Senator Bill DeMora, with whom I have gotten into several in-person arguments and who thinks voters are too stupid to understand ranked-choice voting, which is why he co-sponsored the bill to ban it in our democracy-riddled state, and you have Andrej Rotter, who I think qualifies as a perennial Sample Meowlot pick at this point. I don’t think I need to expound on that. For the women, you have Marlisa M. Young, who seems to work for Battelle, former House Minority Leader Allison Russo, and Sarah Cherry, former counsel to the House Democrats who has spent the better part of the past year doing two things: posting about how mad she is about Jesse Vogel running for Columbus City Council and campaigning against Allison Russo on the grounds that Russo’s leadership was discriminatory against women and Cherry’s firing may have been retaliatory. Sarah makes a lot of Instagram reels and Facebook posts explaining her side in all of it. I’m not weighing in on that race, but I think it’s all very interesting.
Early voting is opening today. I look forward to seeing you there. It’s a civic duty, after all. Election Day is Tuesday, May 5.
The Brain Dump
how tf am i supposed to go to this restaurant if they have no parking directly in front
man if ohio eliminates income and property tax i will be sitting pretty until i attempt to purchase some penny candy for $19.09 a piece
you know you can just put chocolate milk in your cereal. they can't stop you. the cereal doesn't have to be chocolatey. captain crunch with chocolate milk.
they should add achievements to Microsoft Teams. increase your Workerscore by sending 50 reacts in a single meeting. give me one billion dollars for this idea
maybe columbus ought to do more thinking and less wexner
At the Movies
I, uh, was going through some stuff.
The Godfather Part III (1990), dir. Francis Ford Coppola⭐⭐⭐
Watched the Coda cut. You know, I do think a good version of this was possible. This ain’t it though. Andy Garcia does well, but just put Nic Cage in and make it a family thing. Timothy Carey as Altobello would’ve been another star too. Poor Sofia.
In short, no Tom Hagen, no buy. I do quote this one a lot, but I guess I’m really quoting The Sopranos quoting it. Our true reference has yet to reveal himself.
Carlito’s Way (1993), dir. Brian De Palma ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ ❤️
Such a vintage move to open it like that, very '40s, very Hays Code. Pool hall scene is the kind of brilliance that I look for in De Palma flicks. He's so good at building that ticking clock of tension within a scene, and what blocking for the action of it! Hitting that first voiceover about Gail in the club, then the scene of Carlito out in the rain... now that's the stuff. "You said you wouldn't break my heart, Charlie." Swinging the camera around in the Diamond Room, hell yeah. The voyeurism through the door into the orbital shot! Pretty good illustration of the difference between a crime film like Scarface and a film noir, and I know which I like better. Haven't even talked about Penn here. "Adios, counselor." Cold as hell move. Or Viggo! Or Luis Guzmán, or John Leguizamo! See, this is a damn movie.
Donnie Brasco (1997), dir. Mike Newell ⭐⭐⭐⭐ I dunno... I’d always be on edge about getting whacked off if I were made. Almost didn’t recognize Depp without some dillweed hat on. I guess a mustache is the hat of the face. Watching nature documentaries in a tracksuit on Christmas is a pretty GOATed vibe though. Man, where was this Pacino to close out the Godfather trilogy? Michael’s certainly got it better, but the sort of elegiac melancholy of knowing it’s all slipping away, that the family you’ve done it all for doesn’t love you the same way, that you still feel insecure and unsatisified after all this time... Pacino can clearly do that because he does it here! Eh, he disagreed with the way they took Michael too, so whatever. It’s just nice to see the quiet Pacino again a bit. What movie am I watching again? Oh right. Pacino and Depp, pretty good at playing off each other. Also good? Anne Heche. Anyway, taking off your shoes at a restaurant is wild work.
WHO LET TIM AND PAUL EVER BE THAT YOUNG??? Oh my God, why is the movie not about these guys? I would watch 2.5 hours of them talking about Abscam in real time. Fuhgeddaboudit.
You took away your wife’s ring to go bet on the Giants?
Happy birthday to film star Jackie Chan (72)!
One Picture
I hope someday to see this soon.
In closing,
In the event you’re missing my longform thoughts, rest assured that I am too. Here’s a piece from about a year ago that I was thinking of a lot this weekend:
Until next time… whenever that is… try to take some time for yourself. Rest is important too.
Just wanted to let you know that this is the most work I've ever had to put into figuring out who to vote for because I just use your sample ballot every single time.
For the Statehouse 7th district, a Michaela Burris volunteer knocked on my door and told me she had the most labor endorsements among other green flags. Zach Rossfeld also knocked on my door, took one look at me, and summarized his résumé appended with a "I'm excited to work for you" in a demeanor that said I was not a serious person but he still had to go through the script. Thank God for that or else I would've had to look at their websites.
Can't even put the right dates on things. Mind is melted.